SUPERINTENDENT

leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, bolts up faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water and gives policy to God.

FOREMAN

leaps short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a trolley car, bolts up just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm and talks to God.

JOB STEWARD

leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a trolley car, bolts up faster than a B-B, walks on water in an indoor swimming pool and talks to God if a special request is approved.

JOURNEY LEVEL IRONWORKER

barely clears Quonset huts, loses tug-of-wars with trolley cars, is capable of bolting up, swims well and occasionally addressed by God.

4th YEAR APPRENTICE

makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by trolley cars, can sometimes torque bolts without inflicting self-injury, can dog paddle and talks to animals.

3rd YEAR APPRENTICE

runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives 2 out of 3 times, is issued bolts for carrying only, can stay afloat if properly instructed and talks to water.

2nd YEAR APPRENTICE

falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says, "Look at choo-choo," has seen a bolt at least once in his life and mumbles to himself.

GREEN APPRENTICE

lifts buildings and then walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, carries bolts in his mouth and drives them with his fist and freezes water with a single glance. THEY ARE GOD!!!

a note from me: this was given to me in one of my first classes as an apprentice. on the back there are suggestions on how to take tests well. perhaps this is a comment on the potential that new apprentices have. perhaps it's just saying that the people who run the apprenticeship are loons. generally, as a journeylevel ironworker, i think it's pretty silly. and--yes, i do know that we only have a 3 year program, but don't tell me you don't know any 4th year apprentices.